Stay Golden

(The view from my back door, as the evening sun sets.)

I don’t know what it is about summer, but it seems to stir up feelings of restlessness within me.  Maybe it’s the slower pace of the days, and the unending heat, but I’m feeling that same sense of longing creeping in that compelled me to take a blogging class last summer.  I need to stay busy and I like a set schedule, and when that goes out the window, I feel a bit of a letdown, I guess.  I’m still a fairly new mom, and I’m learning to recognize these feelings I have, so I can work to address them while caring for my boys.  I have to meet their needs and my own, and finding that balance is really hard sometimes.

I heard this song on a repeat of “Austin City Limits” recently, and as cheesy as it sounds, I keep thinking about that girl dancing.  I feel a bit like her sometimes, a little stuck where I am, and it’s so good to get out of my element every once in a while.  Friday morning, I met some friends for coffee, and was treated to the stories of a former co-worker who had returned to Austin for a visit after moving to Virginia.  My friend is in her early sixties, and she has the passion and energy of a teenager, always going, going, going.  I laughed so hard my sides ached and my cheeks burned from smiling at her incredible tales, and the man sitting at the table next to us enjoyed her so much that he joined us, bonding over a song sung by Cher.

I want to be like my friend when I’m her age, but I’ve got to keep doing things now, and keep challenging myself.  Sometimes I feel a bit down, but then I’ll laugh at a joke or see the sun setting outside my door, that beautiful, golden light pouring through the trees, and I’m revived again, with the energy to do something fulfilling for me.

(The sun setting through the trees.)

This summer, I’m taking a couple of classes, both for fun, and to challenge myself, and we’re entertaining the idea of taking a big vacation, something that always really scares me.  I’m even thinking about going to Alt Summit again next year, which surprises me, too.  I’m trying to use this restlessness for good, and I want to have stories to tell when I’m older.

(The summer sun setting does my heart so good.)