Portrait of the Artist
I’m in the beginning stages of my blog redesign with Kory, and it’s been a blast so far. As I’m thinking about the changes I want to make, I realized that I need to update my About picture, since my current one is from last summer. That’s not so long ago, but I took it in a hurry, and I’ve changed my hair a little since then. So last weekend, I asked Ryan to set up the tripod so I could snap a few self shots. You know how much I hate having my picture taken, but I can get a pretty good picture of myself if nobody is in the room to watch. Still, it’s an activity I loathe.
I know we are always our own harshest critics, and as I looked at my pictures, I thought a lot about artists who paint portraits of themselves. Not that I’m calling myself an artist or anything remotely resembling one, but there’s definitely an exercise in reflection that occurs when you are looking at pictures of yourself, that you have taken. It isn’t an issue of vanity so much as a chance to really see yourself as others see you, and that’s not an opportunity most of us get very often.
I’ve written about my face in the past, and I obviously feel comfortable sharing my pictures with you, but the process of self-photography is still so difficult for me. I’m completely fine with sharing my deepest feelings for the world to read, but I don’t think I will ever get used to standing in front of a camera. Even when it’s just me in the room. And I’ve tried placing my picture on my blog’s front page, because I know readers like to see the author of the blog they’re reading, but I can only stomach it for a few weeks before it has to come down. That’s why you’ll find my picture on a separate page, and I hope you’ll understand.
But I do want to show you my new highlights! I got them last week, and I think they’re so cool. I feel like a blonde!
(Blondes have more fun, right?)
Please tell me I’m not alone when it comes to pictures of myself. And if you’re a blogger, do you take your own? I’d love to hear!
First of all, these portraits are really lovely – and your highlights look great!
And secondly, you’re not alone! I know this must sound strange coming from a blogger who posts weekly portraits of herself, but I still feel weird about it. The purpose is to share my style – not my face – but of course my face is part of my style! The two can’t be separated.
I feel better about it by thinking of my blogging self as a character. I’m playing a role. (I also do this with job interviews and public speaking). It’s a little way to boost confidence.
Thank you, October! I guess it’s just one of those things most people don’t get used to. And I love the idea of playing a character. That’s what first drew me to your blog. 🙂
Love these pictures – your hair looks fabulous!
I used to take my own but now my boyfriend is my photographer. I think it’s much easier – at least for now while he’s a fulltime student and at home. But like you, I never got used to taking mine either. It’s a work in progress to not critique every little thing about myself!
Hey, Catherine! Thanks so much. I feel nervous posing in front of my husband, so I make him leave the room after he sets up the tripod for me. 🙂
I love your hair! You look great!
I hate having my picture taken. I’m awkward even when I’m by myself with a tripod and remote.
Thanks, Shayla! I feel like I’m fishing for compliments, ha ha. It’s such a hard thing to photograph yourself.
Catherine, this is really a beautiful post. I had no idea that you had this, but it’s so interesting to learn about. Honestly, I think you are beautiful! You have such a lovely face, and you should show it off more! 🙂 However, I do understand how you feel. I hate getting my picture taken unless I’m taking it. I think It’s because I’m so self conscious. I want my pictures in certain lighting, at a certain angle, and I always smile without showing teeth. I think it’s great to hear that we’re all not alone! I’m also happy to have learned this new thing about my client! 🙂
Thank you so much, Kory! I think we are definitely our own worst critics, and it’s so nice to see that others are in the same boat.