This is a very personal post, but it’s something I’m thinking about a lot right now. I had to stop nursing Rhys recently, sooner than I originally planned, and while it was the right thing to do, I’m still a little wistful that my baby days are officially over. Forever.
On my previous blog, I wrote frequently about motherhood: my sadness after James’ difficult birth, how breastfeeding comforted me immensely, my desire for a VBAC, which became the best possible birth for Rhys (even though it was a c-section), and how I’ve managed having scleroderma while also having two babies in two years. I don’t dwell on all that here, because I’ve dealt successfully with my early-motherhood emotions, and this blog is my place for exploring my personal interests. But sometimes things overlap.
Well, things have caught up with me a little bit, and the medication I’ve taken for the past four years to control an overactive thyroid, the medicine that I researched and chose for its safety during pregnancy and breastfeeding, began wreaking havoc on my body, and an immediate change was needed. The two possible solutions to this problem both involve medication that is not safe while breastfeeding, and so, after careful consideration, I spent a few weeks weaning Rhys and started my new medication last week.
I was prepared for this day to come, and I did my best to prepare my little guy, too. He is almost two and a half, so he’s old enough to understand things in a simple manner. We had lots of long talks and cuddle time, and now Ryan can put him to bed at night. Overall, things are going well. But as I picked up my prescription from the pharmacy last week, tears filled my eyes when I saw this.
The warnings about pregnancy and breastfeeding were simply a reminder that those days are now over for me, and even though I’m in full agreement that this is the right thing to do, for myself and for my boys, I still felt a sadness that lasted the rest of the day.
I know that “a healthy mom equals a healthy baby,” and I’m looking forward to years and years of wonderful memories with my boys, who are growing before my eyes. And Rhys is still a little snuggle-bug who will sit on my lap for hours and sounds an alarm if I leave the room, so I know he’s going to be my baby for a little bit longer. My arms are filled with James and Rhys, and I know that I don’t want to have more children, so I’m taking this little unplanned experience in stride and focusing on the coming days, as birthdays and Christmas celebrations fill my calendar.
And, in the true spirit of beauty junkies everywhere, I am so excited to finally get my hands on some Retin-A, which my dermatologist promised to prescribe as soon as I stopped breastfeeding. Seriously, it is on my Christmas list!
So, I’m going to enjoy my perfect skin and my precious boys while I try not to dwell on the past, but look forward to the coming year. And I still get to love on this guy, as long as he will let me.
(Rhys and Mommy, with her roots showing. Don’t worry, they are gone now!)
(I finally took the plunge!)
Last week, I described my fashion collaboration with Lindsay of Black and Blonde, and I realized that I really needed that Narciso Rodriguez dress after all. Maybe need is too dramatic, but I felt like I could make it work for me. So I used a Thanksgiving week coupon and bought the dress, along with two pairs of cute and comfy flats, and the dressy black pair will go easily with this outfit.
Since the dress is rather business-like, and I favor a more casual, romantic style, I paired it with a long black cardigan and a statement necklace to soften things up a bit. This would be a great outfit for an evening out, as well as for holiday events throughout the month of December.
(Staying warm with a long cardigan.)
The necklace was also a Black Friday buy from Anthropologie, and it is truly a stunner on its own. I’ve been in the market for a larger necklace for a while now, and I love the contrast between the turquoise and rose beads, combined with the overall vintage feel. It’s larger than jewelry I normally wear, but I think that’s a good thing, and I know I’ll get a lot of mileage from it, especially throughout the winter. The piece also has a life of its own and floats around my neck, so the beads move around, instead of lying flat, and the backs are just as pretty as the front of the beads.
(The Polished Buds Necklace from Anthropologie.)
I’m so glad I changed my mind about the dress, and it will definitely become a staple in my wardrobe.
(Out walking over the long weekend. The stroller is just in case someone gets tired.)
The week after a holiday always seems rushed and hectic, so I’m glad it’s coming to a close. I’m fighting a cold, but I’m hoping to put up our tree and do some much-needed Christmas shopping this weekend. Here are a few things that got my attention this week.
A graphic (as in, cartoon) memoir about mental illness. You can read the article and listen to the actual story, too, because sometimes it’s nice to hear a writer’s voice out loud.
And, yes, I like to listen to the radio as much as I can. It’s a way to stay entertained and educated while I put my makeup on in the mornings. Two birds with one stone. I heard this fascinating story about an author who helped pirate his own book in Russia.
The honeymoon that was really a social experiment, and the topic of an upcoming book.
And, just for grins, a Christmas lights display set to “Gangnam Style,” created by a local man. We just might have to check this out in person.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend! Do you have any fun plans?
